


six years.

by nekodzukenma



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Foul Language, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, M/M, mention of sleeping pills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27627215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekodzukenma/pseuds/nekodzukenma
Summary: 6 years.It lasted for 6 years.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	six years.

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1: Fake Dating/Unrequited Love
> 
> #Haikyuu #ハイキュー #HaikyuuAngstWeek2020
> 
> again, tw // foul language , mention of sleeping pills
> 
> [ my twitter ](https://twitter.com/kodzuknm)

_6 years._

It lasted for 6 years.

Six years of small kisses and head pats that my heart managed to take.

Six years of studying together and witnessing how he would scrunch his nose and bite at the end of his pen when he encountered a difficult problem set, but eventually solving it because that's how he is.

Six years of packed lunch that he himself cooked though he said and I quote, "I'm not that good at cooking"

but he still managed to perfect my favorite food.

Six years of dates at that one coffee shop that he oh so miraculously found at the end of the alley.

**"Koushiiiii, I'm sorry I'm late aaaaaaa"**

**"It's okay, Haji. I wasn't waiting that long anyways"**

I waited for three hours that day.

**"I had to help Oikawa with a lab report and you know how he is"**

"Yeah, I do"

_you know how he is too, but how about me?_

\---

Six years.

Six years of hiding the truth.

Six years filled with nights ending with wet pillowcases and downing half a bottle sleeping pills that were conveniently placed on my bedside table.

**"Hey, Iwa"**

**"Hm?"**

**"Do you really not want to date me? Like, for real?"**

**"That's against our rules, isn't it?"**

**"Yeah, right. It is. I was just messing with you"**

**"Besides, this was just a plan to get me and Oikawa back together, right, Koushi?"**

**"Right. Of course it is"**

Six years of holding hands and walks through the park that were more than just "a plan" to me.

Six years of hiding these feelings that I knew would be the end of it all.

Six years of watching you get drunk because of him.

_six years and it's still him, isn't it, Hajime?_

Who would've guessed that we'd be "dating" for six years but it's still _him_ you look for when you're with me.

_it was always him, it was never me_

Who would have thought that you'd forget about me once he was involved?

_it will never be me_

And who the fuck would have thought that I still love you even though you only love him?

_i still love you but it hurts too damn much_

_i love you but i can't take any more of this_

**"Let's end this, Iwa"**

**"What do you mean?"**

**"It's been six years, you'll never have him"** _and I'll never have you_ **"I'm sick and tired of all this, Haj. I can't do this anymore not when—"**

**"When, what? Tell me, Koushi. Tell me why do you want us to end this when it's been going so well! He's _finally_ noticing me so why—"**

**"Because I can't afford to lose myself anymore. I can't be with you anymore Haj, fake or not, because once I lose myself, then I lose you, I might just... shatter, completely."**

**"How— Since when?"**

**"Six years."**

**"Koushi, I'm—"**

**"No, don't. You don't have to be sorry for not noticing or reciprocating my feelings, I already knew you couldn't anyway ******

********

********

**But remember this, I will always be in love with you, Iwaizumi Hajime**

**but sadly, you'll never be mine."**

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed !!
> 
> [ my twitter ](https://twitter.com/kodzuknm)


End file.
